Southern Funny

Lots of people don’t consider Loudoun County, VA part of the South.  I do.  Maybe it’s because I spent so much time with family members in West Virginia, Winchester, VA, and Western Loudoun County that I feel like I’m a little more country than city.  Maybe this example will show a little bit of what I’m talking about. 

Every spring I get this urge to get outside and just be.  I don’t need to do much.  Just sitting and thinking works fine.  The spring of my freshman year of college wasn’t any different.  I think it was late March or early April.  Someone can correct me on this.  I went out driving and stumbled across a little park.  I immediately went back to campus to recruit some fellow students to come to the park with me.  I really tried to talk it up because I sensed no one really wanted to go.  So I said, “They even have a man mad waterfall.”  I guess I had never really seen a dam on a tiny creek before and known it was a dam.  Well I guess everyone else had a picture in their heads of a scenic waterfall with a really well-groomed park.  We got there and they all wondered where the man-made waterfall was.  When I showed them the dam they were disappointed.  I felt like such an ignorant hick.

Anyway, that story is a round about way of introducing this one.  It comes from a really amazing blog named Trugars.  All I have to say is it involves a polecat and the story made me feel at home.  Here it is:

A Skunk in her Closet

 “Last week, I mentioned Big Mommy shooting a skunk in her closet.  Gather ’round, and I’ll tell her trugar.  I wish you could hear it from her mouth, but I’ll do the best I can.  (Family members, here’s your chance to correct me!  Comment away.)

For quite some time, Big Mommy had been hearing skittering noises in her walls, and knew it must be “pole cats,” as she called them.  We know them more familiarly as skunks.  They were aggravating the stew out of her, so when she saw one in her closet–out where she could get at it–I think she lost her head just a bit.  She grabbed her .22 and promptly shot that critter.  “That got him,” I remember her saying to me.

Well, she may have gotten him, but not before he got her…or at least her clothes.  She bathed in tomato juice and washed everything in the closet multiple times.  She aired out the house, and (so she thought) rid herself of the scent.

Then she went to church.

Not until halfway through the church service did she notice the pastor, walking up and down the aisles, spraying air freshener as he went.  Then, as she wondered what he smelled, it dawned on her that no one was sitting in her general area.  It took her a while, but she did finally put two and two together.  But my great-grandmother was dedicated.

She walked up to that pastor and said, “Preacher, that stink you’re sprayin’ for, well, it’s me.  I shot a pole cat in my closet this week, and some o’ his stench must still be on me.  Go ahead, spray me.”  After looking at her, dumbfounded, for a few seconds, the pastor meekly obeyed.  He sprayed her up and down with the air freshener, all the while mumbling apologies.  She smiled, said, “That’s better,” and sat down to enjoy the sermon.

What stench are you bringing to church this week?”

About DB Landes

Dorothy loves finding creative ways to be greener and helping others take baby steps to a greener lifestyle.She has 3 kids, a red-bearded husband, backyard chickens, and a struggling garden. Find her blogging at Take a look around and create something with her!
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2 Responses to Southern Funny

  1. Ah, yes… the wonderful, breath-taking, man made water fall! It was so beautiful that I thought I would die right there on the spot! The sound of the water flowing over the small, little, actually quit tiny hump was just too much for my heart to handle. 😉

  2. Audrey says:

    Hi there! Thanks for stopping by my site and for the compliment of sharing my story. I’d like to ask you something without it being public, so would you mind e-mailing me directly? I don’t see any contact info for you here. Thanks!

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